workstudy

It's been over 50 hours since i last slept, not counting Friday morning's hour nap i took on my office floor. 30 hours ago i got home feeling dead tired, having slept but 4 hours the night before, and 4 before that, and checked e-mail - main database server was down (why can't we do RAC?). Couldn't let that sit lest i lose my superhero status.

The 30 minute nighttime bike ride to work woke me enough to resolve the situation by morning, just before anyone noticed that the major service was down, just before anyone was around to start yelling about their inability to register students, and just before anyone was around to say "good job" (but there are countless other diatribes on the haplesness of a sysadmin's job, i won't bore you with a rehash of those, i'm working on my own particular hapless diatribe here).


In 8 days i'll be heading to a graduation ceremony. The student speaker will speak of sleepness nights spent with classmates in the studio, of the comraderie, of the endless work, of the shared bleary eyed mornings with friends. I'll remember no one said "thank you" when i singlehandedly brought up that database server before registration started (but i did get some nice overtime). There will be more words on how tough the regimented studies were, on the uncertainties of projects, on the deadlines, on the friends they asked for help. I'll remember all those tasks on my work todo list, some of which have been there for years. I'll wish i had help through the tougher tasks - these days it's an increasingly solitary job.

18 hours after that grad speech, i'll start a 80 hour stretch during which i'll sleep under 10 hours, and during which i'll begin to wonder why i couldn't hack school. I can work for 36 hours straight. I can sit and work in front of a computer for 12 hours before i need to get up. I can get home drunk at the wee hours of the morning and still be alert enough to solve any work problem that presents itself. But school work? It's an unsurmountable labour for me.


Still, challenges are good for the soul. The reason i learned to put my pants on right leg first, decided to eat vegan, am growing my hair out, or bike to work, even through the dead of winter: gotta constantly challenge yourself, in both big ways and small ways (lot of that i learned from my brother). Perhaps one day i will find a way to complete the school-task without resorting to a Herculean solution.


In other news, i'm tired.

More Work

On my way in to work today, i got to move a small snake out of the bike path. Don't worry, it wasn't a dangerous snake - it was one of those party snakes; you know, the kind with the rattles on the end so you can dance with them in your hands. Now begins the seasons during which snakes, birds and turtles block the path on the way to work - gotta keep a close watch and help them across.

On the way back i got to move a 30 foot tree trunk out of the path, by myself. Luckily its base was down a slope and only had a couple branches; i had but to break the branches off and then use lever action to move it off the path. I hate biking at night and having these fallen trees hit me in the face, hopefully my fellow cyclists agree.

Sometimes i'm sad at how many people's religions say i'm either gonna disappear into Nothingness, suffer endless reincarnations until i Get It, or burn in Hell for all eternity. Guess i should stop helping snakes cross the road.

March Movie Madness

The Crazies - Romero's conceptual stepping stone between Night and Dawn is a great b-movie. Overacting, guns and hazmat suits come together for a farcical take on science vs. hippies vs. the military. Watch it for the development of France's voice in Dawn and glimpses of Liberty's lunacy in Day. 5/10 Overall, 9/10 in genre.

Pride and Prejudice - YAJAM (yet another Jane Austen Movie) which is obviously from an inexperienced director. Strong scenes, decent enough acting, and of course the story is utterly compelling, but nothing meshes together as well as it could, and i blame Wright. Perhaps i was simply spoiled by Lee's Sense & Sensibility. One undeniable good point to this movie is that Knightley has been redeemed after Domino (not that that travesty was solely her fault). 6/10 overall, 6/10 in genre.

Love Actually - Cute intermingling of stories that teaches us women are pawns in the love affairs and desires of men. Maybe i just missed the deep British/New Zealander relationship insight. Not worth more words. 5/10 overall, 4/10 in genre.

Mansfield Park - YAJAM pulld together quite well as far as the main story goes, but with dangling bits that make it seem awkward (particularly the slavery issues). Good performance from O'Connor and Miller add up to an average Austen flick, which equals a better than average movie (but i'm highly biased). 6/10 overall, 7/10 in genre.

Kikujiro - Nice Kitano movie which pokes fun at his previous work while telling a sad yet funny story of a young boy's search for his mother. The movie rotates around solid Kitano acting - a must see for his admirers. 6/10 overall, 7/10 in genre.

The Devil's Rejects - Gone is the "extended music video" feel of Corpses, replaced with a slightly more involved story and more robust directing. Doesn't add much to the horror genre, but is a solid piece nonetheless - the acting, gore, and soundtrack are topnotch. 6/10 overall, 7/10 in genre.

Jane Eyre - Remarkable performance from Paquin followed by a stiff performance from Gainsbourg and though the role calls for it, it seemed a little overdone. The story has less layers, less meaning, less reality, less interest than an Austen. But don't trust me, i don't even remember MacPherson being in it. 6/10 overall, 6/10 in genre.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Typical Potter flick, replacing solid storytelling with active storytelling. Maybe if the movies were made to be more than just supplements to the books, the story would really shine through, but seen as just a movie, the character development falls too short and the plot is overly disjointed. Pretty visuals, though, and the bitty pieces are good in themselves. 6/10 overall, 7/10 in genre.

The Affair of the Necklace - Swank's ok as a boxer but doesn't cut it in 18th century France. Watch the movie for the guillotine scene at the end, otherwise the acting, plot, and visuals leave a little to be desired. 5/10 overall, 6/10 in genre.

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio - I guess this is what "Heart Warming" means. The true story of a drunk, the wife that makes up for it, and the family she keeps together. Suprisingly well done if styled in a manner i don't generally enjoy. Watch it for Porterfield's great performance, she may go far. 7/10 overall, 9/10 in genre.

Everything is Illuminated - stylized tale of a historical, familial journey. It's a little underdeveloped in places, or maybe not as robust as i generally enjoy - some simple commentaries take too long in the movie, could have been used to say more. It does a good job of switching from humour to seriousness, mostly due to Hutz's good performance and some good (if overused) camera work. Well worth seeing. 8/10 overall, 7/10 in genre.

Good Night, and Good Luck. - Should have taken the titular hint and gone to sleep. McCarthyism is no sleepy issue, but this insular flick lessens its relevance and importance: where is the average american represented, do they care, is this just another stance that self-important folk are making important, or is it really on the same level as Liberace's new home? The movie doesn't do enough to draw the relation of the People to the issue, despite the top-notch acting all-around and the inclusion of Dexter, MI. 6/10 overall, 6/10 in genre.

Steamboy - Pretty anime from the dude who brought us Akira. Lacks depth, character and value. 4/10 overall, 4/10 in genre.

A History of Violence - All the cinematography, scenery and action that you'd expect from a big Hollywood flick packed into a slow-moving story with a few obvious twists. Could have been called "Good Night, and Good Luck." except that the action sequences really are top-notch. 6/10 overall, 6/10 in genre.

The Crossing Guard - One of the weakest (though still good) performances by Nicholson but one of the strongest performances by Morse. Crawling movie about the repurcussions of drunk-driving through a father's daughter. Nothing too special, but leaves a feeling that Penn might have some skills in directing/writing as well as acting. 6/10 overall, 6/10 in genre.

The Evil Dead - True classic from Raimi, the director who went on to bring us some very different (yet similar) movies. Low budget horror flick that does more with a camera, a cabin, and some groceries than most movies do with millions upon millions of dollars. Coupled with great acting as Campbell sets in stone just who he is, this movie is a must see. 8/10 overall, 10/10 in genre.

Adaptation - The epitome of the downtrodden, pitiful characters Cage has played recently set in a story that is almost but not quite compelling. Points for trying, but the dreariness isn't cute, revelatory or interesting, despite some good acting and directing. The overall effect is like a great movie tucked inside a bad movie, wrapped in a boring movie, twirled into a slightly above average movie. 6/10 overall, 6/10 in genre.

Iris - Great acting moves this story forward, as the pain and love and loss of the characters combines to display human frailty, human wonder. Bravo to Broadbent and Dench, they pave the way for adequate performances from Winslet and Bonneville. 7/10 overall, 8/10 in genre.


Missing Pages - Story is surprisingly similar to La Jetée and done is a surprisingly similar manner, though not quite as good. Still worth seeing (if you can get your hands on it) for the very good photography. 6/10 overall, 7/10 in genre.

Dawn of the Dead, 2004 - Takes the old Dawn's messaging techniques and delivers an almost tongue-in-cheek response: the new age is faster, better, more glamorous - but don't foresake us a certain amount of irony; we'll still shoot our lead performers (not the movie's main actors, but the Hollywood/tv look-a-likes that die in the mall's gathered masses (i.e. the rooftop sniping)). Otherwise delivers nothing (save today's standard jam-packed action) that the old one didn't, and through this teaches a valuable lesson: what an old, lumbering zombie could do in the 70's, it now takes a flashy, fast-moving zombie to do. 8/10 overall, 9/10 in genre.

Family Bonds

A few weeks ago i started using Instant Messaging in order to ease communication with some co-workers. I've since expanded to include some friends, and i have accounts via AIM, Google Talk, MSN, and Yahoo in order to accomodate everyone else's pre-existing company of choice. I had avoided IM for years due to its more synchronous, wide-scale nature, but figured a change was in order.

A few days ago a co-worker sends me this message: good morning :). No one at work talks to me about non-work related things, so i waited for this co-worker to send me the problem that needed solved. Three minutes later, Rex asks me if i'm logged in, because the other co-worker had messaged him that i hadn't responded. I told him i hadn't responded because i hadn't been asked anything, which Rex forwards on to the co-worker, and i get the following message from that co-worker: i hear i dont know frisco aim protocol... rex is fixing it for me :).

Language is a tricky subject for me and daily i feel uncomfortable with English, despite it's being my first language. Phrases like don't look a gift horse in the mouth are strange to me and make me pause to ponder their ramifications (the Trojan Horse was a gifted horse, had the Trojans looked in its mouth perhaps Troy would not have been lost, so is the phrase deceitful in nature?). I generally try to focus on a person's questions and actions, at least at work.

Ok, it's not really language, but the way a particular culture uses its language - i haven't been immersed in any culture long enough to fully learn its language nuances. While this has a (sometimes delightful, sometimes annoying) side-effect of giving me a distinct voice of my own, its main effect seems to be distancing me from the rest of society.

I realise this situation is made more unique by my own history, that my history is shared by only a few people, and as such i can depend on one and only one person to truly understand the ramifications of someone saying good morning :) to me, from what the hell do they want? to crap, i should respond, what is appropriate? and all the hrm, 3 o's in that one in between.
That one person is my brother.