Jimmy Stories
Get some beer in Jimmy, out come the good tourist stories. Note that by definition these stories may be prejudiced, stereotyped, anecdotal, etc, etc.
He mentions that you don't mess with the wishes of Israeli tourists - they want to do what they want, e.g. find their own way up the mountain, no need for a guide, or stop to camp in the middle of the savanah, forget the prepaid hotel. Don't cross one or all are against you. Do what they want no matter what, they'll always have your back and treat you well at the end. Each one carries a knife (who doesn't??) and for every ten there will be a gun that they brought via airplane (take it apart, each one takes a tenth of the parts).
Germans like to drink, will even want to skip the next day at the world famous park in order to head to the closest town for many beers.
Chinese tourists have few manners, each one will stop on his own time to go to the bathroom, even wanting to stop minutes after someone already stopped for this (and they don't bother walking off to the bush to piss, they'll go right in front of the bus). They like large lenses on their cameras, making you stop and turn off the vehicle, and yelling for everyone to stop moving so they can get the shot. And they bring their own food (don't try the noodles).
Japanese, always an old man who wants to sit right in the front of the bus, and always must have the seatbelt on. Luckily will translate for the rest of the bus (hey! that's one i know, somehow i managed to be the person who was able to best understand Irish, Japanese, Australian and Kenyan English and thus translate between the 7 others when necessary).
Beware pissing off matatu (east African minibus) drivers that you hire to drive you around, they may get you drunk, steal your money, and leave you in the middle of nowhere.
He mentions that you don't mess with the wishes of Israeli tourists - they want to do what they want, e.g. find their own way up the mountain, no need for a guide, or stop to camp in the middle of the savanah, forget the prepaid hotel. Don't cross one or all are against you. Do what they want no matter what, they'll always have your back and treat you well at the end. Each one carries a knife (who doesn't??) and for every ten there will be a gun that they brought via airplane (take it apart, each one takes a tenth of the parts).
Germans like to drink, will even want to skip the next day at the world famous park in order to head to the closest town for many beers.
Chinese tourists have few manners, each one will stop on his own time to go to the bathroom, even wanting to stop minutes after someone already stopped for this (and they don't bother walking off to the bush to piss, they'll go right in front of the bus). They like large lenses on their cameras, making you stop and turn off the vehicle, and yelling for everyone to stop moving so they can get the shot. And they bring their own food (don't try the noodles).
Japanese, always an old man who wants to sit right in the front of the bus, and always must have the seatbelt on. Luckily will translate for the rest of the bus (hey! that's one i know, somehow i managed to be the person who was able to best understand Irish, Japanese, Australian and Kenyan English and thus translate between the 7 others when necessary).
Beware pissing off matatu (east African minibus) drivers that you hire to drive you around, they may get you drunk, steal your money, and leave you in the middle of nowhere.
posted by francisco at 6/21/2007 03:15:00 PM
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