Travails

After biking through 6" of snow to get to work this morning, today's xkcd seems particularly funny. I even had to rescue a downed database when i got in.

Sounds

Srik-srik-srik, srik-srik-srik. I think that's onomatopoetic for the sound of a squirrel working on a nut. This one is in my back yard; yes, my friend returned.




Later today, on my way to work, i saw this painted turtle trying to make it through the chain link fence. He made sounds like a goose, a mouth-open hiss sound. Maybe he's the Tarzan of turtles - left behind by his parents, he was raised by a flock of wild geese and so only speaks goose. Crazy confused feral turtle.

At home, a few hours ago, i stood but five feet away from the neighbourhood skunk. Tch-tch-tch, i said, but the skunk just looked up, sniffed around, and silently wandered off. Skunk body posture reminds me of Ankylosaurus.

Road Hazards

Narrowly missed biking over this frog, over by the UM Art & Architecture Building. I set the little thing into the convenient, small wetland area surrounding the parking lot. Hopefully it will quickly learn that the sidewalk is a dangerous place to be.

Speaking of wetlands, their animals and danger, i signed up to volunteer helping with crocodiles in November. If it pans out, i'll spend two weeks measuring, tagging and gathering other data about Nile Crocodiles in Zambia, along the border with Zimbabwe. After that i hope to make it up north to see my cousin who will be volunteering in Solwezi. And, hopefully, somewhere in there i'll find the time to take a peak at Victoria Falls and raft the Zambezi.

Business Continuity

I'm not yet skilled enough to downshift my right-side shifter with my left hand while talking on the phone and cycling over slick sidewalk. The other party was unaware i took a spill; the phone conversation continued uninterrupted.

Keeping it Real

The wind fought me to a standstill at times, but i decided today was not the day i'd give in to mere nature. It wasn't really gusting that bad - on the way back, the wind warned me with sound before bumping me around. Had i been looking up i'd have seen the gusts first, then heard, then felt. And if my body were more finely attuned to gravity, perhaps i'd have instantly felt the change before even seeing it, but only if that one smart guy was wrong.

Attacks

The first attack came at dawn, a sudden thrust at my head, but this initial foray was quickly crushed. The second attack came by night a few days later, and this time they were much sneakier, the blitz from below, striking deeply and leaving wounds for a week. The third strike again came in the morning light - the enemy, bolstered by previous success, lead a full frontal assault, with all their might and power. The end result: their End left in my forehead. I immediately stopped and shook the attacker out of my helmet and finished the remaining miles to work. In the mirror, i saw the remnants of their assault - a full 4 millimeters of stinger in my skin, half their rear, and what i will assume is their poison sac, fully depleted, having run through my veins the past 5 miles:


bee stinger i pulled from my forehead, on a Czech 50 koruna for scale


closeup of same

Ouchie

I've hit many things while biking - trees, animals, light posts, walls, other bikes - but until today i'd yet to hit a car. Luckily some guy exiting an SVU took care of that for me, opening his door right as i was biking by him. Not too bad a hit, i was still able to enjoy the rest of the night's activities.

Paint

The latest purchase my parents have made for me (via the gift card they bought me) is orange paint. I used it to paint the living room walls. These are a couple photos of what it currently looks like - i still don't have all the stuff i want on the walls, nor is the mural finished, so things may yet change.


At 2am i decided the chimney oven cover (the coloured circle in the corner) could use some other paint, i may have to commission a Special Painting in the middle of it. The red and gold remind me of the paint job on traditional Peruvian mirrors.

And in case you were wondering, biking home with a couple gallons of paint is decidely fun.

Return of the Pic

http://www.cnn.com/exchange/interactive/poll/2007/03/

If i outsourced it to India, i could probably get 1st place, but i'd rather get 1st place the honourable way, by writing a Special Script to vote me in multiple times. Ok, ok, that probably won't happen with my work schedule the way it is right now, so instead i'm calling upon my masses of readers (yes, all 3 of you) to vote for me.

In case you've forgotten, i'm icy beard. Thank you!

One More

I was also mentioned in my work's newsletter, which was the real reason i wanted to be on CNN.

While biking home last night, some people drove by me and yelled out "We support you!" This marks the first time anyone has yelled a supportive comment to me (usually i hear "get off the road!" or "get a car!" and it sure beats the "stubborn shit" comment i received earlier today). I'd like to believe that either they recognized me from CNN or the CNN bit made them more aware of all city cyclists, but whatever the reason, their words of support will surely help keep me warm through the rest of winter

tv too

The aforementioned photo also appeared several times on CNN Headline News. Here's one of the times (thanks for taping it, mom), i'm right after the dog. As of right now, it's also the second photo in the Brrr! Less than zero iReport Gallery, as seen here:

Winter, Part II

In case you missed it earlier -



This morning superstar CNN meteorologist Bob Van Dillen said that today would probably be the coldest day this winter, but neither that warning nor the previous night's minor frostbite on my ear deterred me from biking into work. The extreme cold makes for a different pattern of frost on my goatee, looks almost like rice noodles. I took a photo when i got into work and sent it into CNN in the afternoon. If you look closely, you can see my bike reflected in my glasses. Coincidentally, i always wear a bike helmet when i ride into work - i took it off before taking this shot because it was a bit tight (i don't normally wear two head coverings).

A little bit after i sent the photo to CNN, i got a phone call from them (which i ignored) and then an e-mail. I called them back, was asked a few questions, and a few minutes later the photo appeared on the frontpage of CNN.

It's funny that i was shaking much more when i saw that frontpage than when i got into work this morning.

The results of my photo on CNN:

• Rex actually leaped out of his chair and ran around telling my co-workers (thanks Rex! i could only yell expletives).
  
• Kirsten's friend in New York called her up and asked if it was me on cnn.com - was the first she heard of the story.
  
• my brother assumed i hacked CNN.
  
• the 107.1 radio station told viewers to check out the local on cnn.com
  
• i've received a number of e-mails from strangers about it.
  
• my co-workers handed me a number of printouts of the frontpage.
  
• my favourite was this IM Rick sent me: it just so happens i was walking out of work the other [day] with a coworker and he remarked, "i bet frisco isn't riding his bike now." "oh, i'm sure he still is," came my response. he was sitting right next to me when i got your text. "hey, ed... remember what you were saying the other day?" I'm glad my consistent stubbornness doesn't let anyone down.
  

Maybe this will make those guys who yelled at me yesterday "get a car!" think twice.

By the way, for anyone who considers traveling far outside in the cold, i've been doing this for a few years, i'm used to it, i know what to wear, i know my body's signals for "too much". Be careful when playing with extremes.

My biggest disappointment was that we couldn't get a hold of my father while my photo was still up. Oh well. Throughout my life he's been in various newspapers and quoted by various news organizations, i was hoping he'd see my brief moment of fame (sure i've been in a couple other places as well but nothing this big). Maybe Newsweek can quote me in their rag - "it's getting a little chilly" - then we will have both appeared in the same 'zine.

Ok, now back to the regularly modest francisco.

winter.

My lock won't open, my derailleur won't shift, my rear brakes barely work, and my goattee triples in weight after a 15 minute ride. This is great!

In other news, i've decided that my next project (that is, about #28 on the list) is to recreate the king's throne where Conan finds his sword in the first flick. Maybe i can have it done by next Halloween, it'll look great in the basement.

workstudy

It's been over 50 hours since i last slept, not counting Friday morning's hour nap i took on my office floor. 30 hours ago i got home feeling dead tired, having slept but 4 hours the night before, and 4 before that, and checked e-mail - main database server was down (why can't we do RAC?). Couldn't let that sit lest i lose my superhero status.

The 30 minute nighttime bike ride to work woke me enough to resolve the situation by morning, just before anyone noticed that the major service was down, just before anyone was around to start yelling about their inability to register students, and just before anyone was around to say "good job" (but there are countless other diatribes on the haplesness of a sysadmin's job, i won't bore you with a rehash of those, i'm working on my own particular hapless diatribe here).


In 8 days i'll be heading to a graduation ceremony. The student speaker will speak of sleepness nights spent with classmates in the studio, of the comraderie, of the endless work, of the shared bleary eyed mornings with friends. I'll remember no one said "thank you" when i singlehandedly brought up that database server before registration started (but i did get some nice overtime). There will be more words on how tough the regimented studies were, on the uncertainties of projects, on the deadlines, on the friends they asked for help. I'll remember all those tasks on my work todo list, some of which have been there for years. I'll wish i had help through the tougher tasks - these days it's an increasingly solitary job.

18 hours after that grad speech, i'll start a 80 hour stretch during which i'll sleep under 10 hours, and during which i'll begin to wonder why i couldn't hack school. I can work for 36 hours straight. I can sit and work in front of a computer for 12 hours before i need to get up. I can get home drunk at the wee hours of the morning and still be alert enough to solve any work problem that presents itself. But school work? It's an unsurmountable labour for me.


Still, challenges are good for the soul. The reason i learned to put my pants on right leg first, decided to eat vegan, am growing my hair out, or bike to work, even through the dead of winter: gotta constantly challenge yourself, in both big ways and small ways (lot of that i learned from my brother). Perhaps one day i will find a way to complete the school-task without resorting to a Herculean solution.


In other news, i'm tired.

More Work

On my way in to work today, i got to move a small snake out of the bike path. Don't worry, it wasn't a dangerous snake - it was one of those party snakes; you know, the kind with the rattles on the end so you can dance with them in your hands. Now begins the seasons during which snakes, birds and turtles block the path on the way to work - gotta keep a close watch and help them across.

On the way back i got to move a 30 foot tree trunk out of the path, by myself. Luckily its base was down a slope and only had a couple branches; i had but to break the branches off and then use lever action to move it off the path. I hate biking at night and having these fallen trees hit me in the face, hopefully my fellow cyclists agree.

Sometimes i'm sad at how many people's religions say i'm either gonna disappear into Nothingness, suffer endless reincarnations until i Get It, or burn in Hell for all eternity. Guess i should stop helping snakes cross the road.

Who's there?

Sunday night on the way home i heard a loud rhythmic knocking sound from my rear wheel. I tried to see what the problem was, but the cold and the darkness convinced me to wait until i got home. At home i saw this:



The rim was cracked and jutting out, and the brake kept hitting it every rotation. My quick fix was to disengage my rear brakes - no more knocking sound!

Next day at the bike shop i was told this is what happens after prolonged use - even though they are only rubber, the brakes slowly wear away at the metal rim, first making a groove in it, eventually wearing it so thick that it cracks. In this case it cracked at the weakest point, right along the seam. Comparing my new rear wheel with my old front wheel is great - the front has a very nice concaveness to it whereas the rear wheel is flat.

$50 and 30 minutes later my bike was fixed. This makes a grand total of (approx) $80 i've spent on my bike this year. At 15 miles a day, $2 a gallon, and 15 miles a gallon, i'll have paid off this year's current bike expenditures in a couple more days.

Went for a bike ride tonight. Now to try to get home!

Replacement bike for Rex?

Dead Windshields

Paid $185 for my new windshield - a nice pair of Oakley's (no, not the mp3-playing type). They're not perfect, but still worth the cost. I'd like them to be perfect, and wish the world was such that we could order our personal modifications for all things manufactured. Suits are tailored, braces custom fit, but my windshield is generic, even though it'll be touching my face. Maybe in 10, 20 years we'll be living in that technologically advanced world where our pets and our offspring can be custom made to order. Either that or we'll be living in a typical post-apocalyptic world.

And speaking of post-apocalyptic situations, is there any better than the undead future?

Which leads to the follow-up (trick) question: "Night", "Dawn", "Day", what word comes next?

If you answered "Dusk", "Afternoon", or "Teatime", well, you're wrong, but i'll give you partial credit since it makes sense and could logically be the correct answer. Instead Master Romero has decided that "Land" follows "Night", "Dawn", and "Day".

How long can 23 days be? Some might say 1987200 seconds, or 552 hours. Some might say 200 dead in Iraq, or $3168 net. The correct answer is 23 days is most properly measured as 99.16 consecutive viewings of the trilogy, all before the 4th installment comes out. Yes, June 24, 2005 is the release date for Land of the Dead, the first Romero Zombie flick in 20 years. I'd say line up now for your tickets, but the preview makes the movie look like a cross between Damnation Alley and Demolotion Man (or possibly Fortress; the preview was a little short), and, more importantly, my local theatre doesn't even have a pre-midnight showing, let alone tickets on sale now. Not to worry, i'll be calling them every day until the 24th in the hopes of convincing them for one.

But for now i'm off for 23 days of undead movie watching, practice bat-swinging, and listening to appropriate tunes, like The Doors. So until they make Happy Hour of the Dead, make mine Land.

`Tis the Season

According to my interpretation of IRS Publication 535, Chapter 12, if i add training wheels to my bicycle and start drinking 85% alcohol, i can use my bike as a tax deduction.

Fox

I got to chase a fox for about a mile on my ride into work this morning, but only got about 8 seconds of it.

Where is global warming when you need it?

10°F (-12°C) yesterday, -2°F (-19°C) early this morning, 2°F (-16°C) on my ride to work. The top of my water bottle was frozen by the time i got to work. I could do another 10-20°F colder if i had better gloves.

Cold Weather Biking

If the weather changed overnight from 40°F to 14°F, be sure to check your brakes and gears before riding, especially if it was also raining throughout the previous day.

I got on my bike this morning without remembering the above, and almost hit a pedestrian as my brakes were frozen in place. I wasn't going too fast since my gears and chain were also frozen in place, and hopped off without incident. It took me an hour and a half to get my bike into a ridable condition, which was rather challenging in the cold weather. My brakes work fine now, but i haven't been able to shift all day, at first because the derailleur was full of ice, now because it's full of crud (my morning solution for getting the bike in working order was to spray it down with WD-40, the only lubricant i had on hand).

The bike ride was cold but easy, though i did slightly sprain my knee as i am not used to going so far in such a low gear.

Bike Helmet

I have a couple stickers on my bike helmet other than the shiny ones that keep me alive. One of these is security related and the other is the sticker off the Battle Royale dvd i received today.

Our supervisor gave us gift certificates to Barnes & Noble for the holidays, and as with most actions that my supervisor takes, this cert is overly time consuming - i'm not sure what to buy because B&N doesn't offer what i want, like Battle Royale. Since i couldn't find it in B&N i decided to buy it at ebay, and i got Battle Royale I & II for $28 including shipping.

My brother told me about Battle Royale a while ago, and since then i've seen a variety of Takeshi Kitano flicks - Sonatine, Brother, Zatoishi, Taboo - but Battle Royale was a little more difficult to come by (ok, Liberty St Video probably has it but i haven't been in there for years, it's way too close to where i live). I've especially wanted to see it after reading some reviews about it, such as this one.

It's a good movie, not Unforgiven good but Dawn of the Dead good, which in its own way is a goodness i respect a whole lot more than a Shine goodness. I enjoy movies that can be readily dismissed as "horror" or "action" without realising the social commentary underlying the premise (that's not to say that one dimensional films like Napolean Dynamite or Saved can't also be good, but they won't have the depth of Night of the Living Dead, and that's a bad thing because then they work iff the viewer has an indepth understanding of the culture surrounding the story; in a similar manner i doubt the Simpsons or Andres Serrano will be widely understandable past our own cultures).

Spielberg can keep his in-your face messages as depicted through Schindler's List or Saving Private Ryan, sometimes an audience needs the juxtaposition created by the distance between the story and the message - it is as important as chiaroscuro in painting or contrapposto in sculpture.

And if i continue down that line of thought, maybe, just maybe i'll learn to appreciate musicals as well.

Cycling

My favourite weather to bike in is Winter Storm Warning weather - either the snow accumulations of over 6 inches or the ice storm, inch of ice over everything type. My brother once said why the FUCK would anyone choose to settle in country with this type of weather. At the time i agreed with him - back then we were tropical folk - but i've since found my cold heart.

Here's what i look like after biking a few miles in that weather; yes that's ice on my face.

red cars

Someone in a red car tried to run me off the road this morning, but apparently i've been biking long enough to make up for assholic driving. Yay!

look up, there's a mustang commercial on; a red car rev'ing its engine in to the national anthem... The best part of Computer Generated Imagery is that ad companies don't have to actually go to places like Monument Valley to make silly car commercials with the natural beauty as its backdrop. Instead they just splice everything together after the fact and those of use who enjoy traveling to those open places don't need to have their presence spoil the feel. I wasn't planning on buying a Mustang anyway.

Red is a nice colour. I think i'm going to buy myself a red cap.